Hello, I came across your leaflet at Toddler group this week. I was quite surprised to see someone brave enough to offer advice. Just wondered are you qualified to give advice? Also, i’m rather frustrated with the behaviour of parents at toddler groups rather than the children. I know its a chance to sit and chat and make new friends but surely parents are there to be responsible for THEIR own children? I can’t tell you the number of times my child has been hurt because mum or dad is too busy finding out the latest gossip. Also, what ever happened to telling your child off when they do something wrong? Its not up to me or any other parent to tell that child off and its actually quite a difficult situation. Just wondered what your thoughts are and if you have any first hand experience in any of these issues. Thanks!
Hello Charlotte, Thank you for commenting on my blog. As it says in my “about me” page, I don’t claim to be an expert and any advice you take from me is at your own peril. However regarding your question I have had first hand experience in this situation, My middle son who does attend play group has been going through his terrible twos and has been naughty, however we knew he would be naughty and had to keep a very close eye on him. When he did hurt a child their is that very embarrassing moment when you have to say sorry to the parent for your child hurting theirs, and some parents understand and others really don’t and give you a dirty look. We have also had the experience of other parents telling my son of when I have not realized he has hurt or upset a child as I do have two other children to keep an eye on, some parents go way over the top and start shouting at my son who cant talk or understand what you are shouting at him for, they are probably scaring him if anything and others just take their child out of the situation. Then with my older son, I have also been in your situation of children hurting him. He is five and has had other children at play group and at the park tease and pick on him, the parents of these children will either just watch and think its okay for their child to talk to mine like that, some apologies and others start screaming at the child and from my view the child doesn’t actually know what they are being told off for. If i was in your situation at play group when another child hurt mine I would take them away from the child, and then you can do one of two things, make sure your child doesn’t get involved with that child and doesn’t get hurt again or find the parent of that child and quietly say your child has just hurt mine. If you tell the parent it can either go well and the child can be told to say sorry and the parent can apologize on behalf of the child or the parent and maybe other parents with them will start an argument, which in my view is unnecessary. Many parents are different and you never know how they will react, their is another small play group at All saints church which has a lot less children. If you would like to talk to me on a chat I am also on facebook, I hope this helped and if you have any more questions feel free to contact me.
Totally agree with both of you,every parent should be responsible for their own child-which sometimes it doesn’t seem that way, but if you do happen to miss an ‘incident’ the child that did something wrong should be talked too. If it was your own child then you should deal with it how you would normally, if it was someone else’s child and the parent wasn’t watching I would tell them,so they would hopefully deal with the situation. I think sometimes the problem is that some mums are embarrassed to tell their children off, but the child needs to be shown consistency otherwise they will think ‘mummy won’t tell me off here so I can do what I like’ . They are clever little creatures and know our weaknesses!!
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Hello, I came across your leaflet at Toddler group this week. I was quite surprised to see someone brave enough to offer advice. Just wondered are you qualified to give advice? Also, i’m rather frustrated with the behaviour of parents at toddler groups rather than the children. I know its a chance to sit and chat and make new friends but surely parents are there to be responsible for THEIR own children? I can’t tell you the number of times my child has been hurt because mum or dad is too busy finding out the latest gossip. Also, what ever happened to telling your child off when they do something wrong? Its not up to me or any other parent to tell that child off and its actually quite a difficult situation. Just wondered what your thoughts are and if you have any first hand experience in any of these issues. Thanks!
Hello Charlotte, Thank you for commenting on my blog. As it says in my “about me” page, I don’t claim to be an expert and any advice you take from me is at your own peril. However regarding your question I have had first hand experience in this situation, My middle son who does attend play group has been going through his terrible twos and has been naughty, however we knew he would be naughty and had to keep a very close eye on him. When he did hurt a child their is that very embarrassing moment when you have to say sorry to the parent for your child hurting theirs, and some parents understand and others really don’t and give you a dirty look. We have also had the experience of other parents telling my son of when I have not realized he has hurt or upset a child as I do have two other children to keep an eye on, some parents go way over the top and start shouting at my son who cant talk or understand what you are shouting at him for, they are probably scaring him if anything and others just take their child out of the situation. Then with my older son, I have also been in your situation of children hurting him. He is five and has had other children at play group and at the park tease and pick on him, the parents of these children will either just watch and think its okay for their child to talk to mine like that, some apologies and others start screaming at the child and from my view the child doesn’t actually know what they are being told off for. If i was in your situation at play group when another child hurt mine I would take them away from the child, and then you can do one of two things, make sure your child doesn’t get involved with that child and doesn’t get hurt again or find the parent of that child and quietly say your child has just hurt mine. If you tell the parent it can either go well and the child can be told to say sorry and the parent can apologize on behalf of the child or the parent and maybe other parents with them will start an argument, which in my view is unnecessary. Many parents are different and you never know how they will react, their is another small play group at All saints church which has a lot less children. If you would like to talk to me on a chat I am also on facebook, I hope this helped and if you have any more questions feel free to contact me.
Totally agree with both of you,every parent should be responsible for their own child-which sometimes it doesn’t seem that way, but if you do happen to miss an ‘incident’ the child that did something wrong should be talked too. If it was your own child then you should deal with it how you would normally, if it was someone else’s child and the parent wasn’t watching I would tell them,so they would hopefully deal with the situation. I think sometimes the problem is that some mums are embarrassed to tell their children off, but the child needs to be shown consistency otherwise they will think ‘mummy won’t tell me off here so I can do what I like’ . They are clever little creatures and know our weaknesses!!
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Sorry it has taken so long to reply, for some reason you have come through as spam, I am glad you like my blog and I do hope you return soon. 🙂
I’m the seond time to come amazingmanicmums.wordpress.com and just saying hello. I really like this great site.
amazingmanicmums.wordpress.com alwasy has amazing idea. Great website.
Thank you for visiting, I am sorry it has taken so long to reply, for some reason your comment came through as spam. I hope you have found something helpful in my blogs and I look forward to hearing from you soon 🙂
If you do like my blog and enjoy what I write, please subscribe to my blog via the main page and that way you will never miss out on a blog. Thanks again. 🙂
Perfect just what I was looking for! .
Here is another great tip about motherhood:
http://www.arizonafamilyinstitute.com/the-title-mother-is-not-followed-by-the-subtitle-servant/